Have you been labelled with or do you think you have an eating disorder? This group is for those who want to know more about this mental illness. Discover what others do during a crisis, how others are living their lives despite having an eating disorder and more.
Bingeing & Purging is One of the Worst Experiences Ever!
I’ll never forget the first time I binged and purged. It was after a long day of water fasting. I hadn’t eaten all day and I remember I was reading articles on water fasting and how If one could accomplish doing it, one could lose around 1lb per day.
I had planned on water fasting for 10 days to lose around 10lbs. I was about 128lbs at the time and the goal weight was 118lbs, but to eventually get down to 112lbs. Honestly, that still is the goal, and imagine I managed to get there (118lbs) through going to the gym, but I’ve gained a lot back now. But back to the story!
So I hadn’t eaten over night, I started the day drinking water. It was going relatively good until it got to the evening. I was so hungry, I wanted to sleep to get through to the next day, but I couldn’t. So I got dressed and went to the my local store. I bought some pasties, some chocolate, got home and scoffed it all. I was so depressed, I couldn’t believe I’d eaten all those calories. I felt so helpless, and at that point it came to me. Why not just throw up what you’ve eaten? So I did.
I knew what I was doing, and I remember feeling so weird about it, like, is this really what my life has come to? But also not feeling like I had a problem, it was just something I was doing. It’s hard to explain. I also remember times when I would go home to my parents home during University breaks. My mum would make this amazing rice that I just couldn’t resist. I advise you, do not throw up rice! It’s so cloggy, chokey and horrific! But I can’t help but say only recently did I realise just how important it is to drink a lot before throwing up, not meaning to give you ideas, I’m just telling my story. The only reason why I threw up a few years ago was because my brother gave me a sausage roll. Now, I don’t eat animals, but somehow, I think I was so hungry that I just started eating it with no issues, then he called out
“Wait, you don’t eat meat do you?”
I felt so disgusted, poor pig! I had to puke it up.
All in all, I don’t see myself doing this anymore, but I have to admit, it’s always going to be an option.